Let's not fall in 💘

Don’t ask me anything.

I can’t give you an answer.

We’re so happy as we are right now.
Don’t try to have me
.
Let’s just stay like this.

You’re making it more painful, why?.
Goodbyes after our frequent meet-ups
.
Repetition of broken hearts.

I can’t find a purpose in these foolish feelings.

A mistake with the mask of love
.
All the feelings are the same now
.
But in this moment, I want you to stay.
We don’t know each other very well yet.
Don’t smile at me
If I get attached to you, I’ll get sad.

I’m afraid that pretty smile will turn into tears.
Don’t try to trap us
In the word, love.

Because it’s a greed that can’t be filled.
At first, it was half excitement, half worries
.
But in the end, it became an obligation, trial and error.

Day by day, I get nervous,
your innocence is too much pressure on me
.
But tonight, I want you to stay
Don’t expect too much from me
.
I don’t wanna lose you either
.
Before things get too deep, before you get hurt.

Don’t expect too much from me
.
I don’t wanna lose you either
.
Before things get too deep, before you get hurt
.
Don’t trust me.
You always call me
.
A selfish bastard.
Let’s not fall in love,
we don’t know each other very well yet
.
Actually, I’m a little scared, I’m sorry.

Let’s not make promises,
you never know when tomorrow comes
.
But I really mean it when I say I like you

Friday, 30 dec 2016, 1.08 am

This week mmg emosi tak stabil mmg barai. Almost everyday rasa nak nangis je. Tp mlm ni it hurts me the most. Aku taktau nak cite kat sape. Sape je kawan aku yg betul2 kawan??? even "bff" aku lah yg buat aku nangis malam ni. Haish. Cemni la org yg dah ada bf kot. Ada bf, bff tinggal. Apa guna kita kawan 20 tahun tapi kau susah sgt nak spend time dgn aku. Kau mmg a pentingkan bf kau drpd bff kau ni. Aku tak suka perangai bf kau, tp ada aku cakap? Aku tak selesa dgn dia, aku tk blh nk terima cara dia tp dah tu pilihan kau. Kau suruh aku terima dia. Aku cuba babe up until now. Aku telan weh semua tu. Sakit weh. Aku rasa mcm aku dah hilang kawan. Kau pape je semua ngan dia. Pape pun kau harap kat dia. Aku dah tak kenal kau weh. Kau study sama ngan dia, hari2 jumpa dia. Balik sini? Hari2 kau jumpa dia gak. Before ni aku ok je each time kau cancel time kita nak lepak then one day kau on. So aku okay lah then tuptup kau still bawak dia. Time tu aku gila tk sabar nak balik. Tp aku sabar je. Aku balik mak aku pun kata skjp gile kluar even kita gi kl kut. And then bila kau blk cuti lagi last two days aku nk jumpa kau and yes kau cancel gak ttiba kata tak boleh. Kau dah janji dulu ngan aku but end up kau kluar ngan dia. Pastu kau nak balik, kau mnx aku teman kau. Aku mmg mls nak gi aku tau nnt balik aku sensorang dgn nak cr transport lagi, menyusahkan diri je. But what? Aku teman kau gak kan. Mana bf kau? Nape tk suruh dia yg hntr? Dia takde bru kau cari aku. Kan???!!!! Kau janji sabtu ni nk kluar ngan aku. See kau nk cancel kan lagi! Ckp pakwe kau ada iv kalau x jd kluar ngan dia bru kluar ngan aku. Aku rasa useless loser gila. Ajak kluar ahad pulak. Sorry kayy aku mmg dh xde hati nak kluar ngan kau. tahtah nnt pun kau cancel.

Knapa lah jdi dpn mata aku

Smlm mmg the best day of my life jugak lah. Happy gila kluar dgn kawan2 raya sana sini. Spend time dekat taman and tettt something happen yg membuatkan aku jeles and ttiba rasa menyampah nk pndg muka dia even dia kawan baik aku hahaha lawak lah luls. Takleh moveon rasanya dgn apa kau buat smlm. Kalau kau tgk muka aku time tu, mmg dah berubah gila. In fact that i'm nobody to him, but it feels like it hurts me gulp! Ahha! No, jk jk.

awal sem3

Bila crita ngan sara on hows life going in arau kitorang mmg akan share mcm2.  kadang2 aku rasa mcm aku makin hilang kawan and mcm2.
But one thing i ingat bila sem 3 first day i tak msk kls, classmate dtg bilik i lps kls, ckp azri rindu 😂 i pun mcm pahal kan sbb dia duk tanya knapa aku tak dtg, aku pindah ke apa... haha pastu ada lagi classmate yg dtg and ckp jugak lagi pasal tu jugak. adui segan aku lah azri😅 maaf lah sbb before tu aku tipu kau yg aku pindah tapah kan, but aku dah ckp yg aku tipu kau and u act. Aku ingatkan kau marah aku sampai lh msk sem tu ttiba kau camtu. hahaha i feel like at that time aku ada gak kwn laki yg care pasal aku huahuahua...

jom hang?

Kau kena faham bila umur dah meningkat ni dlm fikiran aku takde dah fikir nak hang sana hang sini galak gila mcm dulu2. hang tu mmg hang lah jugak tpi x sekerap dulu hari2 ada je masa blh kluar lepak. dlm ni fikir blajar kerja blajar kerja je. for me aerning is more important than spending. aku bukan org berada sentiasa ada je duit nak spend. cuti sem ni pun aku kerja dlm tak kerja. so faham2lah my time is limited, busy sana sini. bila ada masa free, masa tulah aku luangkan masa aku sendirian nak rehat and so on...

face it and there u are grown girl

why there's changes in our daily life?
well, it's call diverse!
even what happen in our daily life,
we must get going
and be prepared of everything.
you are strong enough
to believe that you can.
yeah!
you can do anything what you want even u know not many of them supporting you. but if u are straight and determined in chasing your dream, u better get ready because the obstacles that you will face are so huge that u might fall down. do you know what to do when u fell? the easiest way is to be calm and handle it with care! hahaha . there will be up, down, discourage, and all the negative aura is coming. but... u will be a such success and honorable person one day! if u keep believe it, u will have it. In Shaa Allah :)

late night thinking

Maaf, aku tau aku bukan sape2 aku tak pernah tau cerita apa semua kan. aku tau aku jauh dari korang, and aku rasa nak back off from uguys. perasaan ni sama macam time aku jdi outsider dulu. and i know i can handle it even it will hurts me. thanks guys. thanks a lot. kadang2 apa yg korang crita, aku taktau and aku kadang2 nak tau but i tell myself takyah nak ambik port pasal org and aku diamkan aje. ye aku diam sgt sampai taktau pape pasal korang and yeah macam tu lah perasaannya kan. kau mcm in someone yg langsung tak ambik kisah pasal kau. tapi bila kau nak ambik tahu mcm busybody pulak. well thats life we are living. are we regret the road that we choose? don't. because things happen for a reason. jalja then Zzzzz