"sem ni dekan lagi ye dik"

thats was the last sentence that my mom said to me before sending me at the station to go back to arau. the words seem simple. but at that time my answer was unsure. whether to be yes or no, to be agree or not... i left it pass by and my mom said again. sem ni dekan lagi ye dik. this time all i can said is "In Shaa Allah" i start to think all that my parents wants from me is that DEAN. i'm wondering myself, can i do that? am i able to be one of the dean's list again this sem? although i'm not  so confident this sem, from this point onwards, i think i can do it! why? my parents always give me so much things, wants and my needs. walaupun aku tak mintak, ttiba benda tu ada depan mata. each day when i came home, my mom will cook my favourite dishes, almost every day. everytime i went back home there must be nasi ayam! no exception. i think i almost burdened my parent. but they seem well outside. inside, who knows right... on the way to the station, in the car, my mom asked, abah ada bagi duit belanja tak? yes ada, i answered. abah bgi berapa? rm200 said me again. heh cukup ke dik and my mom hulur lagi rm100. i almost crying to think that for a week i came back home, i nak susu dia belikan, i nak nasi ayam dia buatkan, i nak aiskrim dia bagi beli, pastu beli lagi aiskrim yang besar. i nak buat uncang, dia bagi kain cantik from her dress. mom was never berkira about her money. everyday she go out to shop and buy so many things! its so delicious to be just looked. she bought bread pick and mix. everyday i eat so well, i remembered that i ate non-stop. hahah my opah said "harini opah dah makan 5 kali" n that time i want to fry some fries that my mom bought and sausages of cheese and chicken. the jumbo sausages that my father bought. remembered about my father, abah always support his daughter just like emak. last day, he pay for RM100 just to renew my license. yeahhh now i have full license :) and we went to the shop and frame my last sem dean's picture. the next day, i went to tbs and buy ticket to go back Arau. and mom asked if i have asked for money to buy the ticket... well i don't have the heart to ask for money because abah had spent so much on me. mom was like it's okay. i will pay for your ticket. when i got back, abah just give me the ticket money. but i accept it hahaha! there's one time when i call abah and ask for some money. he said tengah bulan kan ni. gaji tak masuk lagi. i rasa bersalah sangat call time tu. that was my FIRST and LAST time i call abah. topup pun i dah tak mintak skarang... aku balik arau pun, opah still bagi duit kat aku. katanya buat beli air. padahal aku bawak bekal air nescafe lagi. even that RM20, i even grateful to have such family. i'm crying inside ;( sobsobs! what i want to say here actually is yes money is needed in this world. money become our controller in life. but as teenager u can't burden your parents/elders. the cost for you to grow now is so expensive until me, myself can't even imagine. remember, u live so well until this day, what you want, your parents will fulfill it. but, what they want from you, can you fulfill it? u may said it is a different things and what you do is hard. is there any difference the hard from what you want from them? they have to do many things to fulfill yours, but they give everthing, they provide eveything for yor comfort and all u have to do is learn. they just want "DEAN"! it's not for them, but it's for you! they just feel happy for your achievement. so grow up well and have respect to your parents. don't burden them too much kayhh chaiyokk for this final!